FAQ

Frequently asked questions about Eutopia Rising

Us as a group
Our events
Our policies

Us as a group

What makes Eutopia Rising distinct from other NYC orgs?

Our combination:

  • Queer-centric and queer- and trans-led
  • All volunteer
  • Prioritizing consent and safety
  • Celebrating creativity and play
  • COVID-conscious
  • No aesthetic or clothing requirements (wear what you want)
  • Welcoming folks to socialize, learn together, and build community in our public Solar events
  • Celebrating a broad spectrum of kinky and sexual interests in our private Lunar events, limited to vetted Lunar Voyagers

Our mission and principles have more detail.

what is Eutopia Rising’s mission?

We are recognized as an educational charity focused on NYC’s queer community by creating safer spaces for intimacy and exploration, organizing community events, and providing tools for better sexual health and safety. More about our mission.

who leads Eutopia Rising?

Eutopia Rising is led by our “Voyagers”, the term we use for the community of people who participate in our events, primarily based in and nearby New York City. Most of the volunteers are queer and lots of us are trans. We organize non-hierarchically, using several groups we call “bodies” (such as Accountability, Engineering, and Communications) to share work and responsibility.  Dedicated volunteers come together in person and via Discord to organize, plan, and lead our events. 

“Lunar Voyager” is our name for members who have passed an additional level of checking by our vetting team. (More on our vetting process.) Lunar Voyagers elect our officers as well as our governing board, who maintain our legal entity’s financial records, deal with its administrative correspondence, and so on. However, individuals do not need to have a formal officer or board position to lead an event or project. We use the Lunar Voyager-only channels in our Discord to recruit volunteers to plan and run Solar and Lunar events. Any Lunar Voyager can propose or lead a Lunar or Solar event or suggest policy changes.

how long has ER been around? How long has it been a 501(c)3 nonprofit? Does this mean that donations are tax deductible?

Eutopia Rising emerged as a successor to a local private event, Lupercalia, which went back to the early 2000s (more in this video on our history). We started hosting events as ER in the late 2010s, incorporated in early 2020, and became a 501(c)3 nonprofit in 2023. (If you heard about our ongoing events space, Horizon, that’s where we held parties and workshops early on – we ended our lease a short while into the pandemic.) We have been entirely volunteer-run for as long as we’ve existed.

All donations to Eutopia Rising are tax-deductible. Our EIN is 85-1836337.

what does 510(c)3 mean, and how is it different than (c)7? 

We have a mission to serve the public (as befits 501(c)3 status) and strive to create a more equitable world for all, not just for our Lunar Voyager membership. 501(c)7 organizations (limited-membership social clubs) are set up primarily to benefit their members.

You could:

  • Support us monthly through our Patreon! It is currently tier- and reward-less, but subscribe to get some educational content and community updates in the future.
  • Make a one-time donation with Venmo – charity profile coming soon.
  • Or with CashApp!
  • There’s also the classic: writing a check – Address to

Eutopia Rising Inc
63-11 Queens Blvd G6
Woodside NY 11377

Whatever you give us, you may write off on your US taxes! Our EIN for that paperwork is 85-1836337.

how much money do you take in each year? where does the money go?

Our total annual budget is balanced around $15,000, with income primarily coming from event tickets sales, minimally supplemented by donations through Patreon and individuals. We apply for and benefit from nonprofit pricing for services from vendors, when possible. We are open to grants but, as of 2025, are not funded by any grants.

We are a grassroots volunteer organization and have no paid staff. The money we raise mostly goes to pay rent for event space and storage and for tech platform costs (such as our mailing list), as well as party snacks, decor, supplies, and similar expenses.

Our events

what kinds of events does Eutopia Rising hold?

We hold two kinds of in-person events: Lunar Events and Solar Events.

Lunar Events are private sexy parties and workshops (such as our Never Surrender parties), at secret venues and private homes, which we only allow vetted Lunar Voyagers to attend. Admission is ticketed, and Voyagers must either volunteer their time or purchase a ticket in order to attend these events.

Solar Events are low-key social hangouts (such as our Always Welcome munches) at public venues, that let newcomers and long-time participants casually mingle. (“What is a munch?”)

Our safety rules apply to all of them, and to our online Discord chat.

how do I find out about upcoming events?

We announce upcoming parties and munches several places:

Solar events

what is a munch?

In kink culture, a “munch” is a casual social mixer event, such as a happy hour at a bar, a park picnic, a group visit to a museum, a clothing swap, or a board game night. These events are part of how we serve the greater public, not just our Lunar Voyagers. Eutopia Rising calls its munches “Always Welcome” events to remind everyone that anyone can participate (no matter whether you’re an approved Lunar Voyager) and there is no requirement to RSVP.

Solar Events are not opportunities for sexy play, but of course the consent rules of our safety policy still apply for all interaction, including hugging and similar touch.

what is the vibe for the Always Welcome events? What should I expect?

The vibe is “a friend’s low-key picnic.” There might be 2-20 people. People can mingle with new faces and catch up with friends, often over food and drink. Sometimes people bring their kids. No kink/sex activity – conversation sometimes goes into those topics, but behavior is limited to what’s okay in public settings like museums, parks, and restaurants. Dress is casual.

Events are drop-in/drop-out – hang out for as long as you wish – and you can bring a friend. Look for a Eutopia Rising sign to find the group!

Lunar events

what is the vibe for the Never Surrender (private) parties? are they mostly about play?

The vibe is “choose your own adventure.” People can engage in kink, BDSM, and sex; people can mingle, hang out with friends, and play games. The music’s low enough so you can hear your friend talk, and the duration (about 5-6 hours long) means you have time to take breaks and chitchat instead of feeling pressured to rush. There’s enough room for everyone (usually 60-90 people) to find spots to chill, talk, and/or play. At least, that’s what we aim for, and we always send out a feedback form afterwards so you can give us a heads-up about stuff to fix for next time.

The themes of our parties are meant to encourage creativity and playfulness. Sometimes, we have games, icebreaker activities, kink demos, or performances related to the theme. As with all activities at our events, they’re entirely optional.

It’s fine to wear a face mask if you want to, and other people nearby may ask if you’d like them to put one on too. (More in our COVID policies.)

For what kind of conduct is specifically allowed/discouraged at our in-person events, check our Safety Policies.

what makes Never Surrender parties special, compared to other kink or play parties in NYC?

One attendee said (we’re summarizing):

at other parties, there’s a pressure to perform sexiness in your clothes or how you act, often based on what gender others perceive you as. NS isn’t like that. You can wear what makes you feel comfortable and people don’t disrespect or ignore you because of that.

Another participant said that our culture’s reliable care for the importance of consent is unusually freeing:

“Honestly, the biggest reason I go to parties like this is the atmosphere of consent. I know that people are gonna ask before they’re sexual at me, and therefore i can exist in the space without being sexualized if i want to. It’s very freeing. I only play at maybe half the Never Surrender parties I go to.

At Never Surrender and other parties I like, there’s a culture of asking first. When I tell someone no, they don’t get pushy; they thank me for my honesty. And there’s acceptance that I might attend without necessarily wanting to fuck. That’s very empowering.

It’s a culture where people don’t feel obligated to give a yes when they’re not into it.”

how much are Never Surrender party tickets?

Usually, about $45-50 per person.

We strive to make the parties affordable, so we always make it possible to get in at half-price, or free, by volunteering for that party. Usually, a work shift (90 minutes to 2 hours long) gets you free admission.

We sometimes experiment with offering a pricier sustainer ticket level and a discount ticket level: the more people buy sustainer tickets, the more discount tickets we can offer for sale.

Details for each party will be in our blog posts and emails.

where(ish) are the Never Surrender parties?

We rent venues that suit our needs, usually in Manhattan or Brooklyn, close walking distance to public transit. In public posts about each party, we say what specific neighborhood it’s in. If you buy a ticket, then you’ll get an email with the venue address about 24 hours before the party.

what do i need to know about the venue?

The venue we currently usually rent is fully wheelchair accessible, with access via a medium-sized elevator. We open the windows or use fans to improve ventilation.

Setup can vary, but we always have: a staffed entrance, a shared dressing room / closet area, multiple shared playing areas with kink furniture, a kitchen/bar area, and solo occupancy restrooms (usually two or more). The venue as a whole is over 3,000 square feet.

We always provide a “quiet room” for those who want a low-sensory environment – lots of places to sit or lie down and chill. This room is shared, but no play is allowed in the quiet room.

The venue has a rule against glitter, so avoid wearing glitter to cut down on the work our volunteers need to do. And: no open flames in the play area.

For community safety & cleanliness, put down protective absorbent pads (“puppy pads” or “chucks”) on surfaces that will be coming into contact with genitalia or bare bottoms, to keep the venue’s furniture clean. Attendees are expected to clean up after themselves. We provide supplies free. More on that in our safety rules.

what’s the best way to have a good Never Surrender?

For your first time:

  • Attend an in-person munch beforehand, if you can (“Solar Events”). The low-stakes socializing can help you feel more at ease, and then you’ll probably know more people at the party!
  • Join the Discord ahead of time, post in the introductions channel, and mingle there. Post a cruising thread about what you’re open to, and browse others’.
  • Run your COVID test that afternoon, and upload the photo to our web form before leaving for the party.
  • Arrive at the party within 15-30 minutes of the doors opening, so you can get in and (if you want) change your clothes before the Welcome Circle starts. That’ll help orient you.
  • Come to the party with an open mind about how the evening will turn out, and talk to people without an agenda.

it’s my first party of this sort. Would I still enjoy myself if I don’t do anything specific?

Yes, hopefully!

If you come to your first party and just get a sense of the space, observe the activities, maybe eat a snack, and chat a bit with people who say hi to you, you can have a good time.

what is the dress code for Never Surrender parties? do I have to dress in a costume related to the event theme?

Wear whatever makes you happy – the most important thing is that you’re comfortable and ready to have a great time. You do NOT have to dress in a theme-specific costume. Also, you can show up in street clothes and then use a restroom or the storage/changing area to change into party clothes. We encourage you to take this opportunity to wear something out of the ordinary, to use creativity, to express yourself, to use what you wear to help make the night special for you, but it’s not required!
No event we host will ever have any rules that privilege, exclude or even address any attendee on the basis of gender identity or gender presentation, per our principles.

We do have weapons policies (part of our safety rules).

how do I get help with a safety issue?

If you have any concerns during a Never Surrender party, please tell a volunteer safety monitor as soon as you can. Safety monitors wear colored sashes bordered with lights to make them easy to find, and circulate around the party starting after the Welcome Circle, all the way till the end of the night. (If you’re used to “dungeon monitors”, “party monitors”, “play monitors”, “safety officers”, “guardians”, “party captains”, or other similar titles at other parties – that’s what our safety monitors are.)

Our policies

what is a “Lunar Voyager?”

“Lunar Voyager” is our name for people who have applied and successfully passed through the Eutopia Rising vetting process, and are thus eligible to attend our Lunar events. (That vetting process: you fill out a web form, a volunteer vetting team reviews your answers, and we reply. If we accept you, we send you a confirmation email, and add you to our email list.) We aim to gather some information about our attendees, in the interests of greater safety and accountability for everyone involved.

Lunar Voyagers must be at least 21 years old.

how long does it usually take to get vetted?

Usually between 1-4 weeks, rarely 2-3 months. The volunteer vetting team does work through the backlog in the weeks before every Never Surrender party. So if you apply a few weeks before a party, and you’re accepted, we’ll send that confirmation email a few days before the party, and you’ll have time to buy a ticket.

If you know you want to attend a specific party, please apply at least a couple weeks beforehand. If you apply the day before a party we may not have time to take care of your application.

If you’ve applied and haven’t heard back, and it’s been 6 or more weeks since you applied, check your spam folder first, then feel free to email us to ask what’s up.

what is ER looking for in the vetting form?

The vetting team is checking for a few things. We do not accept Lunar Voyagers under the age of 21. We endeavor not to accept new Lunar Voyagers who are notorious for consent violations. If you have some prior experience or connections in our circles please do not hesitate to name parties and people, that helps us check that with our contacts. People come to Lunar events for varied reasons, so we ask some questions to get a sense of your situation and what you’re seeking. Most importantly, we are trying to build a community of like-minded folks who want to embody our Principles. And we ask a few text questions to discourage spammers.

We do ask for a photo (a recent image of your face), to ensure our ticket-check volunteers at parties can match you to your ticket when you arrive, and to find you in case of security and accountability needs.

do I need to be queer to be a Voyager? How queer is queer enough?

We do not gatekeep our participants based on their sex, gender identity, or orientation. However, our organization explicitly centers the experiences and needs of our queer and trans population. Anyone who is prepared to respect our principles and contribute to creating a safe and comfortable space for our community is welcome to join us, including those who may currently identify as straight.

is the Discord moderated? how responsive are the mods?

Yes, a few Eutopia Rising volunteers moderate our Discord. You can summon a moderator with @Mods. They usually respond to things within a day.

how do you keep my information private?

We encourage you to use a “scene name” (a pseudonym) and personal email (not work or school email) as your identifier in our records, and for our events, and for the Discord account you use to participate in our server.

We will never require a government ID or your legal name. For vaccination verification, feel free to blur out identifiers on your vaccine record before uploading it for us to check. In order to verify your identity at the door of our events, we do ask for a photo of your face.

The identifying information you give us is shared with a small community of volunteers who comprise our Vetting Team (who review applications and maintain our Voyager database), Accountability Team (who make decisions about community conduct), and Engineering Team (who maintain automations among our ticketing, mailing list, GMail account, Discord, and Airtable database records). We do our best to restrict information sharing to only those who need it for their volunteer work.

how can I remove my data from your records?

Some things you can do yourself:

  • Unsubscribe from the mailing list: find the link at the end of each email
  • Delete individual Discord posts
  • Remove your own Discord user roles on our server
  • Leave the Discord server

Some things you can email us to ask to do:

  • Delete your Voyager application and vaccination/test records
  • Delete your past volunteering records
  • Delete your past ticket purchases from our ticketing vendors’ records

Currently we can’t easily delete all of your past posts from our Discord server. We recommend you use Signal instead of Discord for sensitive communications.

what are your COVID-19 or other infectious disease/health policies?

Our most recent health policy update is Coronavirus (COVID-19) and Health Policy Update #4, Nov. 1, 2024. It covers our COVID-19 vaccination, testing, mask, and refund policy. We also have a safer sex/cleanliness policy in our rules and etiquette.

(last updated March 27, 2025)