Please read this whole document carefully! Everyone has different social norms and party expectations, so we have attempted to be more thorough to avoid interruptions and misunderstandings on party night.
Consent
Consent is paramount. Respect for other people’s boundaries and wishes is key to creating a safe and comfortable space where people can open up and be their happiest, sexiest selves.
Consent for any play, physical or verbal, is required. A verbal ‘yes’ or clear verbal synonym for ‘yes’ indicates consent.
This also means asking permission for specific activities before attempting to initiate.
For example, ask ‘would you like a hug?’ from a distance before stepping closer, arms wide. It makes saying no much easier and more comfortable.
Other Examples of asking for consent:
- ‘May I move my hand down to your butt?’
- ‘Would you like to kiss?’
- ‘My love for you is like a truck and would you like to making fuck?’
- Ask if someone would like to interact with a Little before speaking to them in a baby voice.
Examples of giving consent:
- ‘Hell yes!’
- You can touch me anywhere above the waist’
- ‘You can rub your cock anywhere except on my vulva’
- ‘You can touch me anywhere, and slap my balls too’
Consent for one activity does not imply consent for another — ask before beginning a new activity.
This includes touching a new body part even if other parts are already being touched; also, whether ‘sex’ is understood to be happening and if penetration is a goal.
Try not to give a blanket, ‘you can do anything’, particularly with people you haven’t played with before. It not only protects you, it helps them respect your boundaries. Not everyone has the same idea of what a reasonable ‘anything’ is.
From the other side, even with blanket consent, please try and give a quick ask before doing something invasive or sudden unless that was pre-negotiated.
For example, many people do not want anything inserted into holes without warning, or to be slapped/hit/hurt out of nowhere, even if that’s part of ‘regular sex’ for you.
Consent is active — it may be withdrawn at any time from some or all activities.
Consent cannot be given if the person is intoxicated or otherwise incapacitated. Stop play and make sure the person is alright if this is the case.
While enthusiastic consent is preferred, (A ‘hell, yes!’ or a ‘yes’ with excited tone and body language), some people pushing their boundaries or with different social behavior may give a non enthusiastic ‘yes’ and still mean it.
If you are unsure, give them an out — ask if they would prefer to not do the activity.
Etiquette
- Give scenes/play space. If you want to watch, watch from a respectful distance and try not to occupy the players’ attention (unless they indicate that is welcome).
- Don’t interrupt scenes.
- Don’t touch toys and items that are not yours.
- Clean up after yourself.
- Follow signs on equipment for instructions, and provide a sign if providing equipment.
- Please be considerate of space and play furniture. If people want to play on it, see if you can talk or sit elsewhere.
- Be mindful of how much space you are occupying. Particularly when using long toys, such as whips, crops, canes, etc. If on a bed, do not extend toys beyond the bed edges.
- Ask a party monitor if you are unsure of something.
- Please try and eat mainly in the kitchen/bar area.
- No glass containers in the play space — store them in the kitchen/bar area.
Allergies, Smoking & Other Notes
- Please do not bring nuts.
- There will be many latex sex supplies at this party.
- No smoking or vaping in the play area.
- We want everyone to feel the most themselves, but out of consideration for more sensitive party goers, please consider wearing less or no scents (perfumes/colognes, etc.)
Photos
No photos without explicit consent of everyone in the photo, including ‘in the background’. Use the wall.
Intoxication
- This is not a dry party. You may bring and use alcohol and other substances responsibly.
- Please know your limits and take a break and/or ask for help if you become too intoxicated to play safely or give consent deliberately.
- Be aware of your compromised abilities when undertaking activities, particularly new to you or your partners.
- Be aware of your partners’ level of intoxication and the impact on their capacity to give consent. Decline further activity if your partner is too intoxicated and help them settle into a safe space to recover or go home.
- The party monitors will also step in and stop play and help people recover if they observe people are too intoxicated.
Safer Sex / Cleanliness Policies
Safer sex is encouraged, but not required at this party.
Safer sex supplies such as condoms, gloves, and lube are available.
Please try and minimize your body fluid contact with furniture and sheets. Pup pads and other supplies are available. Clean up after yourself.
Put a new sheet on a bed or surface you will be putting your skin and fluids on, and take the sheet to the laundry when you are done.
If sitting naked on furniture use a towel or wipe it down after you get up.
Notes on Play & Forbidden Activities
- Blood: Play must stop if any blood is drawn, and treatment and clean up completed. Do not perform any activities that break the skin or have a high probability of drawing blood.
- Blades/Knives: Do not do knife play. Do not bring out sharp blades.
- Fireplay: No fireplay. No open flames in the play area.
- Wax Play: The only area this is permitted is in the area reserved for it. Please plan ahead for clean up, such as plastic sheeting underneath.
- Firearms/Stun Gun/Pepper Spray/Mace: Real or fake are prohibited. Do not bring to the event.
- Watersports (pee), Scat (poo), and enemas: These activities are not permitted.
- CNC: Consensual Non-Consent is not allowed. This means no simulated rape or scene/struggle that looks non-consensual.
- No Race play, no Nazis.
- No police costumes.
- No slave/master verbiage or imagery — let’s find more creative ways to play with dom/sub dynamics to create a more inclusive space.
- Breath Play and related:
- No airflow restrictions i.e. covering the nose/mouth with hand/material
- No blood chokes
- No airflow/trachea chokes
- No gags, hoods, or gas masks
- Consciousness: Do not engage in any play that leads to loss of consciousness. If someone does lose consciousness, end the scene immediately and call for help from a party monitor.
- Impact tools/large toys: Do not extend tools/toys beyond the edge of the bed/furniture you are on except in dedicated spaces. Be careful and mindful of others!
Event Safe Word & Other Safety
- To call for immediate assistance from a play monitor or anyone else, call out, “Safe Word”. Please remember to have a safe word negotiated with your play partners.
- Let monitors know before particularly loud/intense scenes.