Rules & Etiquette

Please read this whole document carefully! Everyone has different social norms and event expectations, so we have attempted to be more thorough to avoid interruptions and misunderstandings on event night.

Eutopia Rising is a collective that hosts queer centered events in every shape and size.  The only way we get through this world is together and our goal is to provide spaces for people to do that.

All activities


Consent is paramount. Respect for other people’s boundaries and wishes is key to creating a safe and comfortable space where people can open up and be their happiest, sexiest selves.

Consent for any play, physical or verbal, is required. A verbal ‘yes’ or clear verbal synonym for ‘yes’ indicates consent.

This also means asking permission for specific activities before attempting to initiate.

For example, ask ‘would you like a hug?’ from a distance before stepping closer, arms wide. It makes saying no much easier and more comfortable.

Other examples of asking for consent:

  • ‘May I move my hand down to your butt?’
  • ‘Would you like to kiss?’
  • ‘My love for you is like a truck and would you like to making fuck?’
  • Ask if someone would like to interact with a Little before speaking to them in a baby voice.

Examples of giving consent:

  • ‘Hell yes!’
  • You can touch me anywhere above the waist’
  • ‘You can rub your cock anywhere except on my vulva’
  • ‘You can touch me anywhere, and slap my balls too’

Consent for one activity does not imply consent for another — ask before beginning a new activity.

This includes touching a new body part even if other parts are already being touched; also, whether ‘sex’ is understood to be happening and if penetration is a goal.

Try not to give a blanket, ‘you can do anything’, particularly with people you haven’t played with before. It not only protects you, it helps them respect your boundaries. Not everyone has the same idea of what a reasonable ‘anything’ is.

From the other side, even with blanket consent, please try and give a quick ask before doing something invasive or sudden unless that was pre-negotiated.

For example, many people do not want anything inserted into holes without warning, or to be slapped/hit/hurt out of nowhere, even if that’s part of ‘regular sex’ for you.

Consent is active — it may be withdrawn at any time from some or all activities.

Consent cannot be given if the person is intoxicated or otherwise incapacitated. Stop play and make sure the person is alright if this is the case.

While enthusiastic consent is preferred, (A ‘hell, yes!’ or a ‘yes’ with excited tone and body language), some people pushing their boundaries or with different social behavior may give a non enthusiastic ‘yes’ and still mean it.

If you are unsure, give them an out — ask if they would prefer to not do the activity.


We hold two kinds of in-person events: Lunar Events and Solar Events. Lunar Events are private sexy parties and workshops (such as our Never Surrender parties), at secret venues and private homes, which we only allow vetted Lunar Voyagers to attend. Solar Events are low-key social hangouts (such as our Always Welcome munches) at public venues, that let newcomers and long-time participants casually mingle.

Solar Events are not opportunities for sexy play, but of course consent rules still apply for all interaction, including hugging and similar touch.

If you have any concerns during an event, please bring them up. At Lunar Events, please find a safety monitor (they wear colored sashes to make them easy to find).  At Solar Events, please bring the concern to a host’s attention.


  • Give scenes/play space. If you want to watch, watch from a respectful distance and try not to occupy the players’ attention (unless they indicate that is welcome).
  • Don’t interrupt scenes.
  • Don’t touch toys and items that are not yours.
  • Clean up after yourself.
  • Follow signs on equipment for instructions, and provide a sign if providing equipment.
  • Please be considerate of space and play furniture. If people want to play on it, see if you can talk or sit elsewhere.
  • Be mindful of how much space you are occupying. Particularly when using long toys, such as whips, crops, canes, etc. If on a bed, do not extend toys beyond the furniture edges.
  • Ask a party monitor if you are unsure of something.
  • Please try and eat mainly in the kitchen/bar area.
  • No glass containers in the play space — store them in the kitchen/bar area.

Allergies, Smoking & Other Notes

  • Please do not bring nuts.
  • There will be many latex sex supplies at this party.
  • No smoking or vaping in the play area.
  • We want everyone to feel the most themselves, but out of consideration for more sensitive party goers, please consider wearing less or no scents (perfumes/colognes, etc.)


No photos without explicit consent of everyone in the photo, including ‘in the background’. Use the wall.


  • Eutopia Rising parties are not sober. You may bring and use substances responsibly.
  • Please know your limits and take a break and/or ask for help if you become too intoxicated to play safely or give consent deliberately.
  • Be aware of your compromised abilities when undertaking activities, particularly new to you or your partners.
  • Be aware of your partners’ level of intoxication and the impact on their capacity to give consent. Decline further activity if your partner is too intoxicated and help them settle into a safe space to recover or go home.
  • The party monitors will also step in and stop play and help people recover if they observe people are too intoxicated.

Safer Sex / Cleanliness Policies

Safer sex is encouraged, but not required at this party.

Safer sex supplies such as condoms, gloves, and lube are available.

Please try and minimize your body fluid contact with furniture and sheets. Pup pads and other supplies are available. Clean up after yourself.

If sitting naked on furniture use a towel or wipe it down after you get up.

If clean sheets are available, please put a sheet on a bed before using it, and take the sheet to the laundry bin when you are done.

Vaccination & Infection Control

  • We work together to protect each other. In the interest of everyone’s safety, particularly immunocompromised and other vulnerable members of our community, we use layers of the best prevention possible against infectious diseases, besides primarily sexually transmitted ones. 
  • All our Lunar Events, and all indoor Solar Events, require up-to-date vaccinations and boosters against COVID-19. 
  • In addition to vaccination, for any Lunar Event, or any indoors Solar Event, you must take a rapid COVID test on the day of the party, before you arrive at the venue. For Lunar Events, please take a photo of your negative test and submit it to us in advance. For Solar Events, please be prepared to show a photo of your negative test at the door.
  • Entirely outdoors Solar Events do not require proof of COVID vaccination or a day-of-event rapid COVID test.
  • We urge all of our voyagers to get a flu shot every fall. 
  • We continue to recommend an mpox (Monkeypox) vaccination for those who are eligible.
  • If you are feeling at all unwell on the day of the event, please stay home. Just let us know, and we’ll be happy to offer you a full refund, and our thanks for keeping others safe.

Notes on Activities


  • CNC: No simulated rape, waiving of safewords, or scene/struggle that looks or sounds non-consensual and is disruptive or could be triggering to other partygoers. 
  • No Race play, no Nazis. No police costumes. 
  • No slave/master verbiage or imagery—let’s find more creative ways to play with dom/sub dynamics to create a more inclusive space.
  • Firearms/Stun Gun/Pepper Spray/Mace: Real or fake are prohibited.
  • Watersports (pee), Scat (poo), and enemas: These activities are not permitted.
  • Fireplay: No open flames in the play area.  
  • Consciousness: Do not engage in any play that leads to loss of consciousness. If someone does lose consciousness, end the scene immediately and call for help.
  • Breath Play:
    • No airflow restrictions. i.e. covering the nose/mouth with hand/material, or immersion.
    • No airflow/trachea chokes (If you’re not sure of the difference between a tracheal and a blood choke, do neither.)


  • Bloodplay & needles: Only if there is a designated area, not in the main play space. Keep it hygienic.
  • Knives / sharps / edges: Use blunted blades only.
  • Blood chokes (using carotid restriction) without loss of consciousness.
  • Wax Play: If there is a designated area with a tarp. Clean up carefully.
  • Gags, hoods, and masks that prevent speech are a risk because they prevent monitors from hearing the party safe word. If play involves them, have a non-verbal safety signal.

Event Safe Word & Other Safety

  • To call for immediate assistance from a play monitor or anyone else, call out, “Safe Word”. Please remember to have a safe word or signal negotiated with your play partners. 
  • Let monitors know before particularly loud/intense scenes, or when doing any of the “yellow flag” activities listed above.


We want to welcome you to our Discord server. (Specific links to channels, usernames for moderator contact, etc. are available in the [Welcome and rules] channel once you join the Discord.)

Get comfortable and introduce yourself

Please introduce yourself in [Introductions].

Make sure to read our Community Agreements in [Welcome and rules].

If this is your first time on Discord (or are not sure how to do something) we have [How to Discord] to answer your questions.

Check out the Roles channel to indicate your:

  • Pronouns
  • Identity, such as sexual or gender identity or person of color (many have private channels associated)
  • Consent, or not, for others to direct message you
  • Consent, or not, for others to flirt with you

Plural systems: We have @Plural Bot for those with DID/OSDD/other systems. Basically, when someone other than the host / account owner is fronting they type out a message from their account with a keyword specific to them, and the bot sends the message. For systems that want to use the bot go: 

This is for you!

We have a lot of channels, roles, and practices. If you feel like something should change, be added, etc…. bring it up in [Discord suggestions].

Invite Link: Feel free to invite people you believe are awesome to the server. The link: 

Code of conduct

Here we:

Know each other: We talk to the people we know. We get to know people in channels. DMs are OK with consent (check someone’s profile); scrolling thru the userlist and DMing random people is not OK

Believe in Consent: No means no. Consent may be withdrawn at any time without explanation. Don’t be a creep, don’t violate boundaries.

NO: 🚫 racism, sexism, ableism, classism, transphobia, homophobia, biphobia, ageism, kink shaming, TERFs, SWERFs, etc.

Mods: If you see someone violating these rules, you can summon a moderator with @Mods.

Don’t Be a Jerk: This one is self explanatory. Not all conversations will be easy, and we can get heated. Even when disagreeing with someone, we expect everyone to do their best to be kind and to engage in good faith. If it’s not working in text, consider using a video room to talk it out.

Apologies: We’re human, and sometimes we will act jerky, or snap at someone, or cross a boundary we didn’t realize was there. In building a community of care, we need to acknowledge the impact our actions have had; and a sincere apology goes a long way.

@ Here & @ Everyone: Community attention is a community resource; please use community resources for the betterment of the community. Please use the @here and @everyone with discretion that is for the betterment of the community, or requires community attention. Some channels have this disabled.

Lunar Voyagers

We host sexy events and workshops at secret venues and private homes. In an attempt to create a safer and more comfortable space for our community, it’s our policy to gather some basic information about the people who join us.

We call the people who we have accepted into our trusted community Lunar Voyagers.

In Discord, we have a NSFW section called Lunar Channels that only Lunar Voyagers have access to. Many great channels are there to explore, express, and enjoy.

If you are not a Lunar Voyager and would like to be… please apply.

The world sucks, and so does capitalism. Thus there is no cost, and never will be a cost, to be a Voyager. 🙂If you’re not sure what to do or have any questions, please ask in [Lunar process discussion], or (as always) tag @Mods.

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