Events Uncategorized

The Great Brooklyn Boink Off

Saturday, May 4
12:00 PM – 8:00 PM

It’s time to bring your buns to the gingham altar.

We are inviting the city’s most promising boinkers to join us this spring under the tent for the very first season of Brooklyn’s most famous underground baking-show-themed competitive daytime sex party.

Eutopia Rising is back with our unique blend of games, fun, puns, and sticky buns. Expect icebreaking entremets, scandalous signature moves, tricky technical challenges, and mouth-watering showstoppers. We will have hosts, judges, and prizes that will be given out throughout the day to our star boinkers. All you need to bring is your delicious self.

Don’t worry if you don’t feel like competing, there’s no pressure to put yourself up to be judged for your techniques. Perhaps you’d like to cook up your own hot human sandwich in one of our cuddle tents. Maybe you’d just like to snack on tea and cookies while watching others slide their soggy bottoms across our gingham-and-bunting-bedecked stage.

However: if there’s a competitive desire rising in you, a drive to show off your goods in front of an adoring crowd, or if just the thought of a steely and disapproving glare from one of our judges makes you quiver like a layered trifle — we hope you’ll consider stepping up and proving your skills. Our judges will shake the hand of one star boinker in each category, and at the end of the competition one of you is going home with the grand prize.

Everyone else will hopefully go home very happy and otherwise satisfied in every way, having enjoyed a very silly, sexy, and relaxed daytime event. Home baked snacks and beverages will be available, but guests are also encouraged to bring their own treats to share if they so desire. Your bakes will not be judged, only enjoyed

Fashion Mandate: Bright colors, eye-catching patterns, charming bits of flair. Polka dots, pinstripes, and old-timey underwear. Dress as the brightest, boldest, and most beautiful version of yourself you can imagine. Be that sexy, wholesome, hometown hero that all of Brooklyn is rooting for.

Consent Policy: Nothing should ever happen to you at one of our events that you do not clearly and enthusiastically consent to. Violators of this policy will be firmly ejected from any event we host.

Accessibility Notice: Unfortunately, the venue we have secured is not wheelchair accessible. Guests will need to be able to climb a single flight of stairs to reach the space, and the building does not have an elevator. We apologize that we are not able to better accommodate all interested folk with this event.

Want to join us on this adventure? Become a Voyager.